Friday, January 8, 2010

Public Display

Today I went to lunch with Ellie and Daxton to one of my favorite sandwich shops. It was time to feed Daxton and as usual would not let a significant amount of food pass his cute little lips. So I pulled out the tube and began feeding him. I have never fed him through his button in a public restaurant before and was concerned by the onlookers. There was one lady who would not stop staring every time I looked over she was looking at us. It made me very uncomfortable. It was one of those moments when you feel like everyone is staring at you but you are probably just being paranoid. I was getting so frustrated because all Daxton wanted to do was stand up and make a mess and to add to the joys Ellie decided today would be a good day to be as loud as possible every second of the day. I just felt overwhelmed. It was very unsettling.

So my question to all you tube feeding Mommy's, what do you do when you feed your kids in public? What is the "etiquette" for such feedings? And also I am wondering if you a "normal" person who has not seen a tube feeding before would it gross you out to see it in public and if it does what could we do to not gross you out?

Daxtons last cardiology appointment was Thursday and he had gained a little bit of weight. We met with the nutritionist again and we set some different goals. I was hoping that we could pull him off of tube feeds but it is not looking like that will be in the cards for awhile. They did start him on a new medicine that helps make him have a stronger appetite. Hopefully this will help.


ChristophersHeart said...

Chris is g-tube fed....and I feed him everywhere. It's his mealtime and this is the way he eats. Just like breastfeeding when I refused to sit in the bathroom and hide. My concerns lie more with making my son feel comfortable and not something to be shamed with. He can't help his oral aversions and the fact he needs the g-tube.
Now Chris is fed via pump - not continual, we hook it up when required/when he won't take food orally etc....So I hook it up, pull down his shirt and carry on. We've done it everywhere - parks, market, family gatherings, on the train and subway.
So, I would include him in mealtimes, where ever you are with as little fuss as possible. :)

Natalie said...

Just do what you feel like you need to do as Daxtons mother. You wanted to take your kids to your favorite sandwich place, Daxton needed to be tube fed, HENCE the public feeding... WHO CARES! It is different, and I am sure the lady that was staring just had never seen that before. SO next time ask her if SHE wants to see it! hahaha, j/k.
But really don't worry about it, just do it!

Kristin said...

You could always just strike up a conversation with her. Ask her how her meal is going...tell her a g-tube is the way to go for nasty foods that kids don't want to eat! ;)

It was good to see you Thursday. Daxton looks really good from my perspective. Glad he is gaining a little weight!

Staci said...

You are feeding your child, there is nothing wrong with that! I like Kristin's idea of making a joke about it, at least that would make you laugh.

Staci (angel Bridger's mom)

The Shelley Family said...

If I were to see this in public..I would be curious and watch just to see how it is done. No offense intended and i would certainly try not to stare. I agree that YOU are the key to making your son comfortable and others around u comfortable with the situation. I agree with the advice of striking up a converstation with the onlookers. I breastfed my babies anywhere i was...of course at church i would go into a different room...and of course cover up if we were around people. I am not suggesting that u cover up anything! Niether of u can change your situation right just go with it! I admire the courage and determination you all show!

ang said...

I echo all of the above comments. He's your little boy and he's hungry. Feed him. And while you may get sick of people giving funny looks in your direction, just smile back because hey, he's a miracle and it's fabulous that there even are g-tubes so he can get the nutrition he needs to continue growing. You're a great momma, don't stress. Ü

Orley said...

AS a practicing contrarian I must disagree. I suggest you hide. Hide away in the bathroom, never go out in public and wear a veil so they never see who Dax's mom is! The shame!

Sounds ridiculous right? right. They hold no power over you and can watch to their hearts content. Screw 'em. Dax is an amazing little man in an amazing family. I agree with Natalie - ask her if she wants a closer look next time.

The Dustin' Man-goose Family! said...

I so would not mind if I saw you doing that in public. And if people do, they're silly.

Michelle said...

I totally agree with everyone's comments. The lady who was watching you.. I would just smile back, or say hi to her. Heck, ask her if she has any questions. I love the idea of talking to her. That would be hilarious!
It was so good to see you on Thursday, especially having our appointment together :) I loved it!
Take Care and see you around!