Goodbye 2008!!!

What a year!! That even might be an understatement. This year started out with me having gestational diabetes. I thought that would be the challenge of the year, silly me. In April my grandpa had a heartattack and had to have three stints put in and later another three. Then my dad was diagnosed with a incurable bone cancer. Which is now amazingly gone. He still has pain but no cancer. Miracle! Then on May 20th we found out about our sweet son. His heart diagnosis started out as tricuspid stenosis. After 36 hour labor Daxton Parker Cook was rushed into this world weighing 5 lbs 5 oz. We then found out it was pulmanary atresia-basically same thing. Then on May 27th, this day will go down as the worst day of my life, we found out that our son had a severe coronary anomally and would not live very long. The emotions and feelings of this day are what my nightmares consist of. After many prayers, blessings and putting our faith in our Savior we went ahead with the first reconstructive surgery to Daxtons heart. We brought him home June 20th and spent 10 wonderful days as a family. On June 30th Daxton suffered his first of two heart attacks. We rushed him to the hospital where we ended up staying for 3 months while we waited for a new heart for our son. He recieved this new heart on Sept 10th. There were many many prayers, fasting, faith and blessings through our time in the hospital. So many sacred, beautiful events occured. Our family was brought closer, our true friends were realized, new amazing people were brought into our lives that we never would have ever met. But most importantly our testimony of our Savior was strengthed beyond our imaginations.
On Oct 11th we lost a beloved Uncle. I miss him so very much. I miss his laugh! Then a new baby, my sister had her first baby after 3 long years of trying, Teagan Rose was born.

So yes I have never been so excited for a year to be over but looking back on the events, the miracles, the wonderful friends and family that we have. I can honestly say that with all of my heart I am grateful for the things we have gone through. Goodbye 2008!! We will never forget you.

Mady entertaining Daxton

I need something to read...

I am at a loss of what to read. I just got done with a really good series called the "Great and Terrible" I really enjoyed them. I also love love shannon hale. I have read all of hers. I love mystery but not gory, potty mouth mystery. So if anyone has any suggestions I would love it!

Merry Christmas Eve

I wanted to just let my beautiful wife, Hilary, know how much of a wonderful person she is. She is my strength and love. It seems that when people are with her, she brings the best out of everyone. Everybody that she meets feels at home and comfortable with her. I guess that is why I fell in love with her almost 10 years ago. Hilary is a wonderful mother and wife. I don't think that I would have been able to handle the things that our family has had to go through this year without her. I love her and wanted her to know this. -Ryan-

Clinic

Today we had our usual Thursday clinic, we are now down to just once a week. We are actually switching to once every other week, Ya!! We are progessing in that department. Today at clinic everything looks good with Daxtons heart, which is awesome. But we are having some weight issues. He hasn't gained any weight in 3 months! So they are talking about a G-tube. A g-tube is where they surgically put in a little "button" that would go right to his stomach(sorry if that isn't a very good explanation, I am not sure how else to describe it). Then we would allow him to keep eating everything that he already does but when he is done eating add some more food into the g-tube to help him gain weight and to stretch out his stomach. This is a minor surgery, but surgery none the less. I am thinking of asking for a 2 for 1 deal, except I will take out the food after I eat it instead of putting more in, hey sounds good to me. I am praying super hard that he will all of a sudden have this huge jump in weight and that his appetite will grow. I know that a lot of heart babies have this and that it is no big deal. So i should just get over it. It just hurts my heart to think of having him go through another surgery, big or small. Pray for my little man that he will gain weight. This is Daxton today at clinic in his santa suit with Dr. Everett and Michelle-they are part of the transplant team, they are amazing, we feel really blessed to be in such good hands.

On a more fun note...my Mady had her ballet performance yesterday, she did so well. She loves to dance and has a lot of fun. She has progressed so much in just a year, it is so fun to watch.

Today we made our annual gingerbread houses, I love doing these, next year I think I will get one for me to do also. We got interupted doing the gingerbread houses by my dentist appointment, I found out today I most likely will need a root canal done, yuck! I think I will skip that and go straight to dentures. Just kidding....

Oh, on the no sleep note, I totally give my kids melatonin every night. I started to feel a little guilty like I was drugging them, so I stopped but then decided bedtime was a much happier time with some assistance. My problem has not been getting them to sleep it has been getting them to stay in their beds. We even bought these really nice bunk beds because Mady said she would sleep really good with them, ya right. Every morning this is how our conversations would go....
Mady.."mom, I am going to sleep on the top bunk tonight."

Me..."that would be great""

then right before bed...

Mady..."mom, I don't want to sleep on the top bunk."

Me..."I didn't think so.."

every single day, Ryan even offered her $5 if she would sleep up there. So finally we just took the top one down and now they are side to side. This has been working alittle better. I still wake up with a little one curled up right beside me. Oh well, this won't last forever....or will it?

Our christmas card!!

This year our family has experienced miracles

beyond our comprehension. At this Christmas

season we want to express our gratitude to our

friends and family for your Faith and Prayers in our behalf
Mosiah 27:4
We share with you our testimony of our Savior.

He has been with us through every single moment
Of our journey. We know that he lives and he LOVES

all of us. We have felt the comfort of the Savior and the

Holy Ghost in the very moment they were most

desperately needed. We know that the power of

The Priesthood is real and that through it mighty

miracles can and do occur!
We love you and wish you a very
Merry Christmas!

This is not a part of the christmas card....

p.s. I need some help getting my two little darlings

to sleep through the night. If you have any tips

let me know.

Busy week....

A new baby!!
My little sister Lindsay and her husband Patrick welcomed their first baby. Teagan Rose. They had been trying for over three years to have a little one, so we feel truly blessed that she has finally arrived. It was really hard for me to not be there when she was born, Lindsay lives in Italy. But I am so happy for them and know that they will make great parents.
The Festival of Trees!!

We had so much fun at the festival. For me this was a very emotional experiance. I got teary eyed just walking in the doors. It is such a labor of love and an outward expression that seems to say please don't forget my loved ones. I love going, I want to do a tree next year.
The girls picked their favorite tree to take a picture in front of. Ellie picked a princess tree-she was so mesmerized by it she didn't want to leave, it was very cute. And Mady picked a GO UTES!! Tree-with absolutly no persuassion from me-I promise! They had a lot of fun, it is so nice to know that every penny is donated to primary childrens hospital.

The wonderful nanas came with us!

This was our annual Tonge family christmas party, the girls had a lot of fun playing with their cousins and then sitting on Santas lap, Mady wants a hello kitty boombox, makeup and crafts, and Ellie asked for candy. She cracks me up.

So after a week of fun of course we are going to get sick, Mady was still recovering from fifths disease and then she got a cold, then Ellie started vommitting all night long, yummy. I have been so worried that Daxton is going to get some, I have tried my darndest to keep the girls away from him but how do you keep his biggest admirers away? They seriously are in love with their brother it is so wonderful. I am praying that he doesn't get this sickness.

I just have to tell you how much I love my kids! They make me feel beautiful and wonderful when I am not feeling that way. Last night I was going out with my girlfriends from high school for our monthly get together. I had been trying on several outfits, just feeling gynourmous(large) when I walked into the room where Ellie was and she said in a very enthusiastic voice "oh mom, you are beautiful." Oh man, melt my heart. I know that will not last forever but i do enjoy it.

Sorry to ramble but I have so much on my mind, I am trying so hard to get all of my thoughts and feelings together to write our donor family. How do you put into words what they have done for me, my son and my family. How do you express the thankfulness that I have? How will they ever know the impact that their selfless decision has had on so many people? There truly are no earthly words to say the things I want to say to them. I want to get the letter out before christmas, but I honestly and truly do not have more than ten minutes all by myself. I will have to get a babysitter just so that I can write it.

Merry Christmas!!

Tis the season....

I am so excited for the christmas season this year. Thanksgiving was so wonderful, it was so nice to be able to tell others the things that I am grateful for. I started out the season this year by going to the Messiah sing-a-long on Sunday night with my family. It was so amazingly beautiful, I love that music, it is so amazing to be able to sing praises to my Savior as loud as I can. It was a wonderful kick off to the season. We spent Saturday, Sunday and Monday decorating for christmas. Each year it tends to get a little bigger. Thats ok, I love sitting at night with all of the lights out just looking at all the christmas lights. The girls were so excited decorating the tree, Ellie kept saying-"I'm too Happy!" It was so sweet. Daxton loves the christmas tree, he lays there and kicks and choos, it is so wonderful. This year Ryan and I are trying so hard to keep the focus on the true meaning of christmas. Last year it seemed like we were so worried about getting the girls presents we didn't really get to the true meaning. But this year it will be differant. We are so so grateful that this little baby came to earth, and I feel honored to teach my children about baby Jesus.

As for my little man Daxton, He is doing really well. We are now down to once a week appointments, instead of twice a week!! This is a big step for us. We are still working on gaining some weight, he doesn't want to get over 11 lbs. We had to take him to our Pediatrician yesterday to get his immunization and his flu shot. It was one of the saddest things. I have never heard him cry like that. Every time he got poked before he had his breathing tube in, so this was so so sad. But we made it through it.

Things are crazy good here. My Mady came home from school the other day covered with spots/hives all over her body, the doctor says that it is fifths virus. I have never heard of it but alas she got it. He said that Daxton should be ok, we just have to keep a careful eye out.

I hope that you all enjoy this Christmas Season! We wish you a very merry Christmas!!